months: Mar. 13, 2003 (7:56 pm)

katie's been listening to fugazi because of me. i want my albums back, but i've been too afraid to ask david because i'd feel like we were breaking up. i never felt like we were together, but i would definetly feel the end the same. he called me yesterday and said my voice sounded higher. we talked about breaks and about shows. he mentioned abe froman and it made me feel bad because i remembered why we hadn't been speaking much. but everything else reminded me of sitting in his kitchen and watching him perform. i've been crying at school some, and i did in the office when we heard that song. because i was with caitlin and hearing his voice and i thought maybe everything was gone. but on the other hand, maybe it's just all paused. katie's telling me things i already know that i can't do a thing about. and it's useles to try anything but go where i want. are you still enjoying yourself with me?

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