first: Feb. 15, 2003 (9:56 am)

bthere's something about people alone that is nicer, more fun then people in groups. i don't mind crowds, but there's something nice about feeling right alone in them. and there's something a lot nicer about people who are ok alone.

i'm ok alone. and i don't like tables for twelve.

so i was at the show and i kept thinking back to the afternoon. and i would stare at the floor, frozen in indecision. because it's too hard to say i will follow one path. my desires aren't that unified right now. because i can think back to seeing my self reflected in your eyes. your untransformed face. you looking beyond me. our legs overlapping on your bed and be happy. but i can also think back to him hearing the line. him writing the lyrics. him calling me when he got home. him looking at me during that song and be happy. not better or worse, just different. so i don't know.

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