more: Feb. 04, 2003 (8:49 pm)

i'm missing your procrastination.

because this procrastination is just making me feel bad and not distracted. i'm just still thinking and i wish i were laughing. i wish i were looking at the clock saying 5 more minutes. i wish i didn't feel like i was going to throw up. and fail.

so: when i say that i'm not just here to lie by you doesn't mean i didn't enjoy it and don't still want that.

i could really go to bed now.

do you ever hate living alone?

there's a lump in my ear. my mom says it's no big deal. but you know me.

i've been talking weird. i sound like someone else. sleep deprived and frustrated and sick. i can hear a different voice in my head right now.

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