holiday: Dec. 31, 2002 (8:20 am)

i was sitting in the airport dreaming of a shower. i saw them walk by. and they were not beautiful: her skin was broken out and he needed to shave. but they were happy together. so they transcended their surrounding and were magnificent while the rest of us were common. i was reading beakfast of champions and sneezing. both things i caught from him.

and i keep thinking: i feel like them when i'm with him. i feel like them with a lot of others too. i hate vacations when i'm all alone and i dont feel wonderful or known i just exist where i am and hope for a safe trip home. home.

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