empty: Oct. 28, 2002 (6:30 pm)

paul, i wish we could be friends. i want to visit, come over, read psychological studies and i want you to be something you aren't. nice. and spectaculor.

i used to take showers to make my red cheeks go away. i used to wander around the city hoping the tears would freeze and my red eyes would be legitimate. i used to wander around the city looking for anything else. or you. anything. just to not be by myself for another hour in a white room with white papers and one-sided sounds.

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