visit: Oct. 15, 2002 (9:55 pm)

already starving for a break. dreaming of another bed. another window. another pillow. another voice to hear. another hand on my back.

i'd give it all up to move in with him. i don't want to think about macromolecules and madame mgm and commended scholars. i want to think and sit with him and talk about the weather, and the words, and the paper and how we feel today.

why tell me about her? do you think i really care. i guess i do. i guess i do. 'cause it's been twenty four hours and it's stil weaving through my head. we were together for a long time. what is it that we expect? from anyone else.

happy birthday. i remembered. you are seventeen now.

it's been nearly three years. nearly three years. that's incredible. it's just been a long, long time.

and i guess i'm glad that we're not leaving it there. that i'm not jealous. i'm not jealous.

the way you see us is very weird. everything comes down to how it effects you. and i never imagined myself coming to our house. 'cause that's not a comfort. it wasn't a wonder. we just made it up.

i guess it made me feel safe. but not good.

security isn't freedom, you know. and we're not here to complement each other.

come on over get your shoes on put your feet on baby come on over

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